When we were growing up, my younger brother was a big fan of accoutrements. He wanted to ski because he liked the idea of wearing a helmet. It was all about the helmet. We used to laugh at the way he was so equipment-driven. At the same time, I always respected his honesty. He liked what he liked. Still does. And there’s nothing wrong with that. We frequently offer excuses and justification for wanting what we want and there’s really no need. It’s okay to like, want and have. But sometimes liking or having morphs into depending and that’s a concept that doesn’t always serve us so well. Or does it? Are all crutches bad? Certainly not if you’ve broken your leg and need extra support! The optimization of your health toolkit requires routine assessment of what serves you at any particular point in time and what doesn’t.
Obviously certain dependencies, like those on drugs, alcohol, and toxic people, put your health and life at risk but those are not the kinds of dependency on my mind. Sometimes our healthy patterns of behavior depend on an accountability partner, medication, equipment, or a device. Some people opt out of all these options, wanting to go it alone, considering reliance or support as a sign of weakness. But it’s never weak to ask another person for help. Similarly, if medication or a gadget helps you meet your health goals, there’s nothing wrong with depending on it or them to do that. Benign dependency is a good thing.
Gadgets and Gizmos Aplenty
The first step in wellness gadgets is getting through the onslaught of ads on your social media feed that appear as soon as you’ve thought about a gadget. It’s then up to you to ultimately choose the one you want and let it work for you. Assuming it does what it’s meant to do and it makes engaging in desired behavior possible, you run the risk that the behavior ends if the gadget breaks, gets lost or becomes less interesting to you. It would be nice to think we could turn desirable behaviors into habits easily and we could hold ourselves accountable to stay the course but that’s just not the case for a lot of us. Sometimes we benefit from external accountability, something or someone that helps us stay on plan, whatever the plan. These are tools. Part of holding ourselves accountable in life is figuring out what tools we need to be our best selves.
When a tool stops working and we can’t seem to sustain whatever behavior it promoted, it’s up to us to find a new tool. An optimized health toolkit is one that evolves with us.
Do Steps Even Count If You’re Not Wearing a Fitbit?
I laughed a few weeks ago when my Pilates teacher, the same instructor who I’ve referenced before for his incredibly positive energy, shared that as he left work one day he realized he wasn’t wearing his Fitbit. Since he wasn’t getting credit for his steps, he took a cab home. Not gonna lie; I’ve been there. Back in the day, my Fitbit got me to walk 10,000 steps a day regularly, a practice that ended abruptly on the day the battery died and I couldn’t find my charger. I laughed out loud in Pilates class and sheepishly looked at the new Apple watch adorning my wrist. There’s no doubt that I walk more because I wear it. Just as there’s no doubt that I go to Pilates regularly because of this incredible instructor who unwittingly has become my accountability coach. I’m grateful to both. I don’t feel remotely weak as a result of depending on them. Rather, I feel stronger than ever.
If something out there can help you do what you need to do and causes no harm, it’s got to be worth trying without judgment. Our health toolkit is at its most effective when it’s filled thoughtfully, based on self reflection and self awareness. Recognizing the tools that benefit us and using them are signs of strength. We should feel the opposite of shame for availing ourselves of tools that can help us.
The Best Gadgets Are Furry
In addition to that old Fitbit, my current watch, the MyFitnessPal app on my phone and my Pilates instructor, I’ve had friends serve as accountability partners. The best “gadget” I’ve ever had, though, was my beloved dog Lev who forced me to get out and walk three times daily, play games, and dance around the living room while giving me all the emotional support I could ever need. Ours was a co-dependent relationship in every sense of the word and I don’t regret a single thing about it.
Musical Playlist While You Ponder This Post
Part of Your World by Jodi Benson (from Disney’s The Little Mermaid), Not My Responsibility by Billie Eilish, Wish List by Taylor Swift, You Can’t Always Get What You Want by The Rolling Stones, Take What You Want by Post Malone (featuring Ozzy Osborne and Travis Scott), Responsibility by Dolly Parton
Thinking and Trying
Something to think about: “Accountability breeds response-ability.” – Stephen R. Covey
Something to try: The time has come to consciously build your Health Toolkit. What tools do you need at this point in your life to optimize your health? Don’t judge them or yourself. Write them down and make sure to use them. If you’re struggling holding yourself accountable, consider including “working with a coach” in your toolkit.
Join Our Tribe
I always feel smarter and stronger when I listen to and connect with wise people. My friends and fellow coaches Maria and Lorin are among the wisest people I know. The three of us joined together to bring you the Unpacking Midlife With The Wise Women podcast. You can listen in on Spotify or Apple podcasts. On the podcast, we share our thoughts, concerns, and joys relating to our journeys through midlife. Whether you’re seeking guidance, validation, or simply the comfort of knowing you’re not alone, tune in to be part of this community of wise women.
Coaching Can Help
If you think you might be in the market for an accountability partner to help make your dreams of change a reality, you might benefit from working with a coach. Contact me here to talk about how coaching can help you develop healthy habits that keep you feeling your best. The first session is 15 minutes over Zoom and it’s free.
Dogs are the best emotional support tool EVER.