In the 70s, we had a television show called Zoom. It was a live-action, educational series featuring child cast members presenting games, plays, poems, recipes, jokes, movies and science experiments, all suggested by viewers. We all “zoom-zoom-zoom-a-zoomed,” spoke Ubbi-Dubbi, and learned that 0-2-1-3-4 was the postal code in Boston, Massachusetts where viewer contributions were to be sent. Does anyone else remember Bernadette’s twisty arm thing? These days, when people Zoom, they mean something else entirely. More than 300 million people use Zoom for videoconferencing daily. The number was closer to 10 million in 2019. Zoom has become so ubiquitous that it’s often used as a verb, much like Google and Xerox, even when people use alternate videoconferencing platforms. There’s no question that Zoom filled an important need during the pandemic when we could not meet in person and it’s provided a significant and effective means of connection ever since. Still, like most innovations that make our lives easier, there’s an underbelly. Zoom fatigue is real and if you videoconference regularly, even just once a day, you know what I’m talking about. It is fascinating how the very technology meant to connect us can create such a strange psychological burden.
Happy To Be a Zoomer
Don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to be a Zoomer. It enabled my office to quickly move fully remote in 2020 and it connects me with my family in Canada every Sunday. Similarly, FaceTime and WhatsApp videoconferencing have made it possible for me to stay meaningfully in touch with friends and family no matter where they are. Seeing one another’s facial expressions makes a difference. Still, the video component makes the whole endeavor much more of a commitment than a simple phone call (and, for some of us, even a phone call is a major deal).
Symptoms
Zoom fatigue can manifest physically in headaches, eye strain, dry eyes, and even body aches. On the psychological front, there’s heightened self-consciousness, or mirror anxiety. In-person interactions don’t include a mirror image of yourself. They make it possible to focus on the other person’s expressions rather than your own. On a video call, you can’t help but notice the hair out of place, the bags under your eyes, or your displeasure with your background. It can take double the effort to look away from your own image and focus more on the other person. I’m exhausted just thinking about it. Some Zoomers may also suffer from disengagement, decreased energy, and the urge to withdraw from others and isolate.
Research suggests factors like the ongoing requirement to interpret non verbal cues and the fact that we’re constantly having to look at one another onscreen in a way that makes clear we’re paying attention contribute to Zoom fatigue. There’s also the fact that eye contact over video differs significantly from in-person. Over Zoom, we prolong our gaze with a level of intensity that doesn’t exist when we’re face to face in real life. The overwhelming problem for many of us, though, is the constant self view. Seeing your mirror image throughout a conversation or meeting can be distracting at best and debilitating at worst. Self-consciousness can hit a whole new level when you’re focusing on what you’re saying, what you’re hearing, how you’re responding and reacting, and how you appear when doing so. Heightened self criticism seems like a foregone conclusion for many of us. Continuous self-evaluation, hyper-fixation on flaws and the illusion that everyone’s looking at you are a recipe for disaster.
Treatment
So what do we do about it? First, we recognize it for what it is. Next, we determine what adjustment mechanism works best for us. If you’re actually using the Zoom platform, you might choose “Speaker View” for better focus on the person speaking or you might “Hide Self View.” If you feel yourself starting to tune out, a simple “I’m going to turn off my video because it makes it easier for me to listen” can go a long way. You might also consider working on anxiety-reduction through mindfulness and meditation, getting some physical movement, or doing some deep breathing before or after a call (or both). If you’ve got a day full of calls lined up, be sure to take breaks.
Connect Mindfully
During a Zoom meeting with several people years ago, I noticed a participant on the call posing. She was moving closer to and further from the camera, positioning it and herself just so, and making pouty duck faces (sucking in the cheeks to make lips appear larger). Oblivious to the fact that others could see this, she continued the behavior throughout the call. It’s hard to imagine she heard much that was said. It was a sad commentary on where we’ve come and where we may be going in terms of communication and connection. Let’s not go there. Rather, let’s connect for real. Let’s breathe and focus and be present as best we can, giving ourselves grace when our best seems meh. And let’s not make duck faces into the camera. Ever.
Musical Playlist While You Ponder This Post
Zoom by The Commodores, Zoom by Fat Larry’s Band, Zoom In, Zoom Out by Ringo Starr, Who’s Zoomin’ Who by Aretha Franklin, Zoom by The Temptations, Zoom by Dr. Dre & LL Cool J
Thinking and Trying
Something to think about: “Shame works like the zoom lens on a camera. When we are feeling shame, the camera is zoomed in tight and all we see is our flawed selves, alone and struggling.” – Brené Brown
Something to try: Look into your eyes in the mirror and listen to your internal self-talk for 60 seconds. Don’t try to change it. Just notice the tone, content, and emotional quality. This exercise helps you recognize patterns in how you speak to yourself. You can grow from there.
Join Our Tribe
I always feel smarter and stronger when I listen to and connect with wise people. My friends and fellow coaches Maria and Lorin are among the wisest people I know. The three of us joined together to bring you the Unpacking Midlife With The Wise Women podcast. You can listen on Spotify or Apple podcasts. We share our thoughts, concerns, and joys relating to our journeys through midlife. Whether you’re seeking guidance, validation, or the comfort of knowing you’re not alone, this community welcomes you.
Coaching Can Help
If you want to counteract mirror anxiety and/or Zoom fatigue, you might find it helpful to develop a mindfulness practice. Coaching can help you do that. Together, we can help you feel your best as you connect with others. Contact me here to talk about how coaching can help. The first session is 15 minutes over Zoom and it’s free.
I have Zoom meetings/depositions pretty much every day. I miss the days when we would actually see other people in person, and I think that with a particular focus on my profession, we’ve lost something because of the fact that (almost) everything is via Zoom now.