Remembering and Forgetting Are Better With a Sense of Humor

I always appreciate books, movies and television shows that feature people with any sort of distinct features, backgrounds or contexts as regular people within a story rather than people with magical powers or sidekicks that are separate from the plot. There’s a plethora of art these days with the underlying theme of menopause. Doctors, influencers and supplement companies are all starting to pay a lot of attention to the goldmine formerly known as menopausal women but it’s the shows that treat aging and menopause with humor that I appreciate the most. The symptoms of menopause go well beyond the famous hot flashes that were handled deftly in Sex and the City. I imagine the remembering and forgetting – especially the forgetting – will be fodder for years to come.

Humor in Forgetting

The Change, a television show on BritBox and the novel by Kirsten Miller, also called The Change, are both about women who happen to be going through “the change.” I happily and heartily recommend both, even if you are not a menopausal or perimenopausal woman.

There’s a classic scene in an episode of The Change where one of the women tries to tell her friends about a film. She quickly realizes she can’t remember the title of the film or the name of its star and asks for patience while she gives clues. Her description: “FBI thing, bloke with the smirky faces in it, y’know big eyebrow, he was in that shit baby film as well and the musical with the Australian woman. He was also in that film with that woman who was in the other film by the same director and in the other film she wore a yellow jumpsuit.” I guessed the actor from her description. It was John Travolta. The film was Face/Off but that level of deciphering was beyond me. The scene was hilarious. After one of the women figured it out, they all sighed. Then one looked up and confessed, “I couldn’t remember what a toe was called the other day. I called it a foot finger.”

Laughter Is The Best Medicine (and HRT)

People of all ages sometimes forget names, sometimes forget why they walked into a particular room, sometime forget where they left something. At a certain point, though, the forgetting seems to ramp up and the remembering becomes so much more challenging. I appreciate these scenes because I have lived them and imagine I will continue to do so even more in the years ahead. It can be scary or depressing. It can also serve as a source of entertainment. In conversations with a group of friends I speak to regularly, at least one of us inevitably grasps for words or a train of thought every time. Sometimes we resort to a game of charades to figure it out. It’s unavoidable. We laugh. Like most things, laughing comes easier when you’re sharing the laughter with similarly-situated, like-minded pals. And it seems to me that laughter and Hormone Replacement Therapy are probably the best medicines when it comes to menopause.

What Can You Do About It?

This is not to say you can’t do anything about it. As a reminder of the interconnection of all facets of our health and wellbeing, the Mayo Clinic recommends the following activities to minimize or prevent memory loss:

• Be physically active everyday (Aerobic exercise like swimming, cycling, or dancing stimulates the growth of new brain cells)
• Stay mentally active (Keep your brain in shape with crossword puzzles, reading, playing games, learning to play a musical instrument)
• Spend time with others (Ward off depression and stress, which can contribute to memory loss)
• Stay organized (Focusing on one thing at a time; the days of multitasking are over)
• Sleep well to boost memory recall and reduce mental fatigue
• Eat a healthy diet
• Manage chronic health problems

At the end of the day, we’re lucky to be aging. The only choice we get is how we handle the reality. In a perfect world, we’d have a say in the remembering and forgetting. Wouldn’t it be nice to choose what we remember and what we forget? I don’t really need to remember the words to every Shaun Cassidy song but it would be nice to remember why I just walked into the other room. Sadly it doesn’t work that way. Personally, I’m not afraid of aging. I choose to handle the reality with friends and as much laughter as possible.

Musical Playlist While You Ponder This Post

Memories by Maroon 5, Memory by Barbra Streisand, Through the Years by Kenny Rogers, In My Life by The Beatles, House of Memories by Panic! At The Disco, Photographs & Memories by Jim Croce, Unforgettable by Nat King Cole, Supermarket Flowers by Ed Sheeran, Don’t You (Forget About Me) by Simple Minds, Don’t Forget Me by Imagine Dragons, I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan

Thinking and Trying

Something to think about: “Human memory is a marvelous but fallacious instrument. The memories which lie within us are not carved in stone; not only do they tend to become erased as the years go by, but often they change, or even increase by incorporating extraneous features.” – Primo Levi

Something to try: Shoutout to the New York Times games. Try Wordle, the crosswords, Connections, Strands, or Sudoku. Or try a jigsaw puzzle. A 2018 study found that puzzles activate many cognitive functions, including perception, mental rotation, working memory, and reasoning. The study concluded that doing jigsaw puzzles regularly and throughout life may protect against the effects of brain aging. Personally, I find them meditative and relaxing.

Coaching Can Help

If you want to work on a plan to deal with your memory issues, you might benefit from working with a coach. I’m happy to hop on a 15-minute call with you over Zoom to explain coaching and see if we’re a good fit to work together. This discovery call is free. Reserve your appointment here. Then try to remember it!