Exercise the Power of Sharing Stories and Invite People In

In the early 2000’s when ebooks started to gain serious momentum, there was widespread trepidation in traditional publishing surrounding the anticipated demise of the physical book. I ran the Children’s Book Council at the time, the national trade association for children’s book publishers, and witnessed the sadness and struggles publishers faced as they amended their business models to cover and maybe ultimately focus on ebooks. As a result, I clung to my physical books the way you cling to loved ones in the face of tragedy or impending doom. I wasn’t alone. In the end, physical books never went away. Cue heavy sigh of relief. Yes, a kindle or any e-reader is a great invention, especially if you’re going to the beach or taking a trip or don’t have bookshelves or prefer not to have trees cut down on your behalf. But there’s so much to a physical book that doesn’t translate to e-form. Physical books enable us to tap into the power of sharing stories even more than ebooks do, because they involve physical touch. One person literally hands the story to the next, signaling connection and continuity.

Sharing Stories

Some people like the smell of a book, some like the feeling of the page, some like to cuddle with a child in their lap, turning the pages together. I like all these things but, mostly, for me, it’s about holding something that carries the weight of the particular story being told. Stories are everything. They are mirrors, bridges, and therapists. Books are connectors. Something special transpires when a person finishes a book they love and hands it to someone else. Some of my favorite recent book experiences have come from books handed to me by new friends. The books they shared spoke to me and the impact each book had on me was shared by my friend.

Ultimately, a book in any form is someone’s story. When you love a book enough to vouch for and share it, you’re revealing something about yourself. Something about the book struck a chord for you. Maybe you related to a character or situation or maybe it allowed you to escape to a world entirely unlike your own. Maybe your book recommendation says something about your sense of humor or how much you enjoy fantasy or horror. Revelation is vulnerability and vulnerability is strength. When we’re feeling safe or safe enough and make the decision to lead vulnerably through stories, we step into a power, whether we realize that’s what’s happening or not. The power to be and show our true selves allows us to let go of any pretenses, prospects or possibilities that don’t serve us.

Feeling Safe Around the Campfire

We go through life choosing what and how much of ourselves to reveal to others. It stands to reason that we must be feeling pretty safe when we reveal something about our likes and dislikes that may not be apparent to the average onlooker. Vulnerability, bravery, safety and stories are inextricably linked. Perhaps this is why women sitting around a campfire so naturally launch into the telling of their own stories. The metaphorical campfire could just as easily look like a kitchen table, a playground bench, a living room, or a few barstools. When women gather and feel safe, stories unfold. That’s where the magic happens. In the stories, there is a level of intimacy that is freeing, enabling us to let go of secrecy, shame, and subterfuge. The power of sharing stories comes from something way beyond the details of the stories themselves. It comes from the decision to connect and the bravery to share.

Book Recs

I made the decision to be vulnerable and share honestly when I started writing this blog over a year ago. Sharing my own anecdotes has helped me overcome shame, live in truth and connect more genuinely and intimately with my people. It was a good decision. Furthering my commitment to transparency and recognizing I might be divulging details about myself in the process, I’m excited to share some of the books I’ve recently read that I’ve loved the most:

1. James by Percival Everett (recommended by a friend)
2. Martyr! by Kaveh Akbar
3. The Women by Kristen Hannah
4. The Glassmaker by Tracy Chevalier
5. The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett (recommended by a friend)
6. Here One Moment by Liane Moriarty (recommended by a friend)
7. The Tell by Amy Griffin (recommended by Oprah)

My grandmother was an incredible storyteller. One of my daughters is as well. But the power of sharing stories isn’t limited to those we consider gifted storytellers. We have all been shaped by the stories we’ve lived and we all have stories to tell. Learning them and sharing them helps us move through life in any direction we choose. The beauty of each stage of life is that there are always more chapters to write.

Musical Playlist While You Ponder This Post

The Story by Brandi Carlile, Love Story by Taylor Swift, The Story of Us by Taylor Swift, Long Story Short by Taylor Swift, Story of Another Us by 5 Seconds of Summer, Story of a Lonely Guy by Blink-182, Storybook Love by Mark Knopfler, Story of My Life by One Direction, The Story of Tonight from the musical Hamilton by Lin-Manuel Miranda

Thinking and Trying

Something to think about: “Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.” — Brené Brown. Also courtesy of Brené Brown, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of connection and the path to the feeling of worthiness. If it doesn’t feel vulnerable, the sharing is probably not constructive.” Brene Brown”

Something to try: Morning Pages, as introduced in The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron. For the next week, write three pages of longhand, stream-of-consciousness thoughts first thing in the morning. You can write anything: what are you grateful for, worried about, thinking about, reading about, looking forward to… This practice of uninhibited and unedited writing is meant to help you unclog your mind, cultivate creativity, and boost productivity. It’s also a good way to get in touch with your story, whatever it is. If you enjoy the practice and feel that it’s making a difference for you, don’t stop at the end of the week.

Join Our Tribe

I always feel smarter and stronger when I listen to and connect with wise people. My friends and fellow coaches Maria, Marguerite, and Lorin are among the wisest people I know. The four of us have joined together to bring you Four Wise Women, a podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. We use this space to share our thoughts, concerns, and joys relating to our journey through midlife. Whether you’re seeking guidance, validation, or simply the comfort of knowing you’re not alone, we hope you’ll tune in to be part of this community of wise women. New episodes are added on Thursdays.

Coaching Can Help

We all have stories. Are you feeling reluctant to share yours or not quite sure what yours is?Working with a coach can help you access the stories you want to share and develop the confidence you need to share vulnerably. Contact me here and let’s talk about what coaching can do for you. The first session is 15 minutes over Zoom and it’s free.