A recurring theme throughout studies and conversations about aging is that it all goes better with friends. We are not meant to go through life alone and we are healthier when connected to something bigger than ourselves. Men and women tend to deal with connection a little differently but we all crave it in some way and we need it. The health benefits of finding and having your tribe are extensive. To be clear, when it comes to tribes, size doesn’t matter. It’s about connection. In addition to providing a sense of belonging, connection is pretty much medicinal. It cures a lot. Countless studies support the contention that loneliness is a greater risk to your health than smoking or lack of exercise, and finding your tribe is better than any vitamin, diet, or exercise regimen. We can survive alone, sometimes just barely, but we can thrive together.
Finding Your Tribe
At certain points in our lives, it’s easier than others to find community. School years, early work years, and younger parenting years are all times when people are typically and organically surrounded by others who are similarly situated. Circumstances bring you together and then you find your people from within. When you’re higher up on the food chain at work or you’re retired and/or your children have grown up, it may not be as easy to expand your inner circle. One of the lasting effects of the pandemic has been inner circle shrinkage for a lot of people. Finding a new tribe or enlarging that which remains can be a little more challenging in our later years, as we start aging up and aging out.
Meet the Four Wise Women
With that in mind, I’m excited to share a labor of love developed by four Health and Wellbeing coaches (myself included!) as a forum for creating community where we can thrive together. We call it Four Wise Women and it’s the newest podcast on the wellness block. When women connect, open up to, and support one another, amazing things happen. We see each other and save each other. The Four Wise Women dig into the opportunities presented at midlife, the triumphs to be celebrated, and the challenges that get in our collective way. Four voices, countless possibilities.
My wonderful co-hosts, Marguerite Clark, Maria Tabone and Lorin Zimmerman are among the wisest and loveliest people I’ve ever known. We come from different backgrounds and have different stories yet the same issues concern each of us, which has proven to be comforting, not to mention therapeutic. No matter the issue that arises, we find it productive to take it on, talk it out, share our thoughts, and learn from one another. We do so with honesty, vulnerability, and empathy. And we laugh together. A lot. Our conversations have made each of us stronger, smarter and healthier. It is with great pleasure that we invite you to join us. We hope you will find our conversations relatable and helpful. You can find the Four Wise Women podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. New episodes will be added on Thursdays.
Together We Rise
When I began training as a Health and Wellbeing Coach, my original intention was to learn. I was not planning or even considering a career shift. The hope was to develop a better understanding of what we mean by self care and magically turn it into a process for unsticking myself from a rut. I imagined I would go on to help my daughters, my friends, and my team at work. We all want to transform in some way and so often we feel stuck. Coach training and particularly role playing with my coaching cohort was immeasurably valuable for me. I learned a lot about myself, started to like myself more, and appreciated the effectiveness of the coaching process and relationship. At some point I realized I wanted to focus my energy on helping other people reach their happy level of perfect imperfection. I’m doing that now through coaching, blogging and podcasting. The work I’ve done over the last few years has helped me strengthen connections within my existing inner circle and expand it to include some incredible newcomers. I would not be where I am today without my tribe.
There’s no blueprint identifying the way a community or tribe should look or act. One-size-fits all doesn’t exist. Sometimes you need to cultivate your tribe and sometimes it just falls into place seamlessly. Here’s hoping the Four Wise Women podcast fills some of that need in your life.
Musical Playlist to Ponder While You Read This Post
For Good from Wicked, Crowded Table by The Highwaymen, Friendship Train by Gladys Knight and The Pips, Together We Rise by Hāwane Rios, Hey Girl by Lady Gaga and Florence Welch, Amigas Cheetahs from The Cheetah Girls 2, Wannabe by Spice Girls, Friends by Meghan Trainer, I’m Only Me When I’m With You by Taylor Swift
Thinking and Trying
Something to think about: “Any time women come together with a collective intention, it’s a powerful thing. Whether it’s sitting down making a quilt, in a kitchen preparing a meal, in a club reading the same book, or around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with a collective intention, magic happens.” – Phylicia Rashad
Something to try: Listen to and follow the podcast. Four Wise Women (there are four of us, we’re women, and we have wisdom to share). New episodes will be added on Thursdays. Let us know any topics you’d like us to consider.
Coaching Can Help
When you want to transform but can’t seem to make any changes in your life, you might benefit from working with a coach. We all feel stuck sometimes and it can help to work with someone who helps you focus on what you need and can do for yourself. I’d be happy to meet with you over Zoom for a 15 minute discovery session and explain a little more about coaching. It’s free. Contact me here and let’s set something up.
This is so true! One of the worst times in my life was when I separate from my ex-wife, and had to live solo in an apartment. At the time, we were living in an area in North Florida where we knew very few people, and just for good measure, my job was falling apart at the same time. It was the most “disconnected” I ever felt in my life. The one bright side I will take out of it was that I got through it and if nothing else, proved to myself that I was tougher than I thought.