Embracing Your Inner Child Makes Life So Much Better

Just a few short days ago, I was sitting in a jeep at Botlierskop Private Game Reserve in South Africa. A giraffe walked by so close that I could touch her. I was overcome with joy. I watched her with wonder and glee and, not for the first time on safari, wanted to sing every song I could remember from the Lion King (which, truth be told, is all of them, every word). I smiled wide and laughed happily and unabashedly, like a child. The whole safari experience brought me closer to my inner child than I’ve been in a long time. It felt great. The awe and curiosity of travel does that for me but throw animals into the mix and I am basically a blissed out 5 year old. If only that feeling could be bottled up and released on demand!

Children Feel What They Feel

We tend to go through life pushing forward, frequently not fully feeling the low lows and the high highs. Numbing the lows is typically intentional and numbing the highs, an unfortunate side effect. Early childhood was a time when we didn’t overthink. We just were, did, and felt. We cried out loud and laughed with abandon. That changed for most of us fairly early on. The suggestion here is not that we are incapable of enjoying life as we get older but that life pressures get in the way and to fully feel anything, the good and the bad, requires a combination of trust and intention. That takes a degree of effort. We need to intentionally allow ourselves to feel pain and disappointment in order to feel the pinnacle of joy. No such intentions are required of children. Up to a certain point, they just feel what they feel.

The Inner Child Reservoir

Life is full of expectations we place on ourselves as well as those placed on us by others. When there are expectations, responsibility and judgment are never far behind. Do you have any memories of that brief time before you felt burdened by limitations, real or imagined? In the before, chances are you were playful, curious, and emotional. Your inner child is a reservoir of innocence, curiosity, creativity, and spontaneity. When curiosity, creativity, and spontaneity abound, life is good.

Embracing your inner child can actually help improve your mental health by promoting creativity, playfulness, and self-expression. Playfulness can help reduce stress, increase feelings of happiness, and improve our relationships with others. Embracing our inner child can help us to express ourselves more freely and authentically. These are the ingredients of joy. A photograph of my twin daughters looking at each other with pure, unadulterated glee on their third birthday sums up inner child aspirations for me.

A Valuable Embrace

Many therapeutic treatments and strategies used for specific pathologies or upper case T traumas are actually beneficial on a much wider scale. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), a form of therapy originally developed to help chronically suicidal individuals as well as those suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder, is one example. The core innovation of balancing change with acceptance and the skills developed to regulate emotions and tolerate distress can be hugely helpful to virtually anyone. Similarly, the notion of connecting with your inner child is often considered in the context of individuals working to overcome childhood trauma. Learning to connect with your inner child increases your self awareness, helps you heal, empowers you, and helps you change behavior. Ultimately, embracing your inner child can be valuable for anyone.

When I look through photos from my recent trip, I note the expression on my face when I see myself sitting on a rock with a penguin, getting a neck massage from a few ostriches, and touching an elephant’s foot. Unadulterated joy is what it is. Joy and wonder fill me with perspective and hope. Both of these often seem to be in short supply these days. Embracing my inner child is about more than having fun. It’s a salve and a secret potion.

Musical Playlist While You Ponder This Post

Child of Mine by Carole King, Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves, Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift, Kid Fears by Indigo Girls, Cat’s in the Cradle by Harry Chapin, Beautiful By by John Lennon, Sweet Child O’ Mine by Guns N’ Roses, You’ll be in My Heart by Phil Collins AND Circle of Life, I Just Can’t Wait to Be King, and Hakuna Matata from The Lion KingMusical Playlist While You Ponder This Post

Thinking and Trying

Something to think about: “I was just a freak and really shy and self-conscious and modest. The pendulum swung so far when I started writing pop music because I was like, ‘I have to do my inner child justice and just be free.’ “ – Chappell Roan

Something to try: Re-read a favorite childhood book, watch a beloved childhood movie, or revisit a game you loved as a child. You can thank me later.

Join Our Tribe

I always feel smarter and stronger when I listen to and connect with wise people. My friends and fellow coaches Maria and Lorin are among the wisest people I know. The three of us joined together to bring you the Unpacking Midlife With The Wise Women podcast. You can listen on Spotify or Apple podcasts. We share our thoughts, concerns, and joys relating to our journeys through midlife. Whether you’re seeking guidance, validation, or the comfort of knowing you’re not alone, this community welcomes you.

Coaching Can Help

If you’re struggling with accessing the joy you felt as a child and aren’t quite sure how to go about embracing your inner child, you might consider working with a coach. Together, we can help you create an action plan full of small steps and accountability so you can appreciate the wonderful human you are and feel joyful. Contact me here to talk about how coaching can help you. The first session is 15 minutes over Zoom and it’s free.